Did you know that cell phone carriers are free to determine which text messages they want to be sent over their network? This may sound odd, seeing as how wireline telephone companies don't enjoy this luxury. Those poor suckers have to allow all kinds of disgusting phone calls that relay messages about taboo topics ranging from extra-marital affairs and prostitution to drug use.

The Horror.

But so long as T-Mobile gets its way, wireless communications won't be subject to these burdensome regulations that totally get in the way of routine censorship. That's what they argued today, anyway. In case you haven't heard, a lot of businesses conduct marketing campaigns via group texting services. However, T-Mobile won't let third party companies utilize their network for just any old client. No, T-Mobile insists on pre-approving every advertising campaign that passed through its invisible territory, despite the fact that these are opt-in services as opposed to spam. That means the folks receiving the texts actually wanted to get them, but that little detail doesn't seem to phase T-Mobile in the slightest. It's still THEIR network goddamnit, and they reserve to right to control every aspect of its usage entirely.

This ugly saga began when a New York based marketing company called EZ Texting chose to work with a medical marijuana website called weedmaps.com. Except EZ Texting never bothered to ask for Heir T-Mobile's permission, which really ruffled some feathers down in Bellevue, Washington (a medical marijuana state, mind you). T-Mobile promptly screamed, "No Text for you, ONE YEAR!" to the folks over at EZ Texting, prompting them to file a lawsuit against the telecommunications giant. The so-called "short code" advertiser claims that T-Mobile's actions are forcing them to go out of business. T-Mobile responded by issuing this ridiculous legal brief that argues two things: 1) EZ Text should have read the fine print in their terms of service agreement/guidelines and 2) to quote the T-Mobile legal team, "Short code provisioning services constitute 'information services,' rather than telecommunications services," which means existing statutes need not apply in this instance.

Right.

You read that correctly the first time. Text messages are NOT telecommunications services. Period. Don't even try to wrap your head around that one.

Naturally, T-Mobile swears that this isn't about content discrimination, which means it must be the result of T-Mobile's intense hatred of cancer patients. To prove their point, they note that other prominent wireless carriers are control freaks, too. And that they're really trying to protect their clients from unwanted and offensive transmissions, you know, like the ones that don't exist in this instance. Hopefully the court will recognize this as utter nonsense, but somehow I doubt it. Judges never let anything stand in the way of corporate interests these days. Of course, this is really the FCC's fault for not articulating a clear policy with respect to these issues. The laws T-Mobile is fighting against stem from 1934. To put that date in perspective, consider that fact that John McCain wasn't even born until two years later.

For those naive enough to believe that T-Mobile is interested in monitoring commercial texts exclusively, well, just wait till you see what they've been doing with your Sidekick.